Gravity resets every time you flap
This is the single mechanic worth understanding, and the game never explains it. Falling is not a constant speed - it accelerates. Every frame you spend not flapping adds to the downward force, so a fall that begins gently is moving considerably faster a second later. Then, the moment you flap, that accumulated force is thrown away and the fall starts over from nothing.
The consequence is that flaps are not interchangeable. Two quick flaps and one flap after twice the delay do not leave you in the same place, because the second case spent that whole gap building speed you then have to undo. This is exactly why panic-tapping after a long drop rarely saves anyone - by the time you react, the bird is carrying more speed than a single flap can cancel.
Play it as a rhythm rather than a reaction. Small, regular taps keep the accumulated force near zero and the bird close to level, which makes the whole game feel much more controllable than it first appears.